Mischevious Bats

[Velnias]

Just to clear it up-

I'm not posting anymore, not during school. I cannot afford to. Read my sig. Scroll down the page just a little...

The only thing I'm doing is planning. If we want this War. Because we are hardly on at once. Hardly. I might sound like a broken record: I don't want to give in, don't want to lose this, don't want to lose you guys. Yes, I suppose I am just a record player.

But lately, I've discovered some more things about myself; things I should have know, things I did know, things I anticipated, things I blocked out before. No, no, I don't think I'm going crazy. I'm just teetering...on what? On something. I have no honest idea. But I'm becoming paranoid, and finding that I can try as I might, but I almost want everything or nothing, everything in friends, in school, in news, in material things, or none of it. Am I 'finding my groove'? Probably to some extent. But there's one thing that just amazes me, it blows my mind, because it's just so freakin simple. But I won't say, because it will just...push me away from all of everyone.

So, in the midst of me finding my 'groove', and losing it altogether, I'm making decisions. I am two years into the teen cycle and already I'm making these choices. They aren't big, but they're affecting me in a big way, because imagination is bigger than anything, and I'm just so far into my thoughts that I swear, I spend more time in my own head than out.

Here goes the broken record. Do we want this War? Do we want it? Can we do it? I know we can, but: Will we? Really, I need to know. If we aren't, I can clear up a lot of things. I can stick here for awhile and it will be easier, not having to lead up to something. I'll move my characters around, I'll start adverts for the site. Simple. And if we want a war, well, we need to be here. I just don't have much time, and I know none of us do. I'm not completely off the world web, I'm on other sites, but I can't find a short job anywhere until I know what we're going to do here. This is how much I've thought I needed this site, because there's so much imagination here and there's really no other place like it. I need you guys because...there really are not very many other people.

I will not rant, I will not. I will not. Doesn't do me any good; we don't need another vent anyway, we don't. So, what do you want to do? Full commitment, or none. I can't half-do anything.